What makes you happy?
For me, a good book is usually enough to make me happy. Or a good meal, Or me time and order every menu I want haha.
A library full of books with a sliding stairs on its shelf. A first class ticket to a destination of my choice, accompanied with a limitless credit card.
On somedays, that thing could be as simple as a good, sturdy mattress covered with warm, clean sheet, with a pillow with just the right amount of support for my neck, and a fluffy duvet. Yet the more I think about it, the more futile a thing is. Typically, a thing in itself is an insufficient means to happiness – it is the experience, reaction, and all the other exogenous factors that stem from it. It is never just how good a book is. It is the immersive encounter with fictional friends and foes, the indulgence of disconnecting from real life, real issues.
Ignorance is a bliss, indeed. And The Nile? Is not just a river in Egypt.
Kata orang kalau mau punya suami yg sesuai, di list aja kriteria nya kayak apa.
so here I am, trying to write down what kind of man I want to spend the rest of my life with hahha
1. Muslim (kadang hal ini suka kelewat kalao doa, padahal paling penting hahah)
2. Udah mapan (Udh punya kerjaan tetap, kendaraan sendiri, rumah nilai plus aja sih, kalau nanti mau patungan sama aku jga gk masalah)
3. At least lulus S1 dan cumlaude, atau dia S2 gk cumlaude gpp (jurusan apa aja)
4. Sayang sama keluarga, dia harus sayang sama mama nya tapi bukan anak mami yaaa
5. Suka traveling, since aku anak nya traveling banget kalau dapet suami yg mageran kan gk lucu yaaa, jadi aku berharap punya cowok yang at least suka traveling jga walau gk sering.
Terus apa lagi yaa, tbh i dont have any special criteria to find a man, as long as aku cocok sama dia, dia cocok sama aku, mari kita gas kan (?) hahahah
let me think again
6. Harus nepatin janji, red flag banget sama cowok yang udh ada janji ketemu terus tiba tiba bilang gk bisa. asdfghjkl
7. Tinggi minimal 175 cm
8. Putih atau atleast bersih
9. Pake kacamata nilai plus hahahha (Gk tau selalu suka cowok berkacamata)
Apa lagi?? hahah
Get to know me:
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Didnt remember
2. Are you outgoing or shy? Super outgoing!
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Waiting for floren at the office, 21.59 haha
4. Are you easy to get along with? Very
5. What kind of people are you attracted to? Cool haha, charismatic, smart
6. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I really hope so
7. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Adiwiyoso
8. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no
9. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Cecep, mba ilma.
10. What does the most recent text that you sent say? "Asli gue nahan pipis banget"
11. What are your five favourite songs right now? satu-satu dari idgitaf, Mirror - Justin timberlake, about you - 1975, dan gamelan jawa hahah
12. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Depends on who
13. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yes absolutely
14. What good thing happened this summer? nothing, im devastated
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Not really, udh jadi suami orang
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Could be, possibly
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? no
19. Do you like bubble baths? yes
20. Do you like your neighbors? maybe
21. What are you bad habits? money spending
22. Where would you like to travel? Edinburgh, Glasgow, Newyork, Medan and of course back to my favo city solo
23. Do you have trust issues? I think so24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Watching netflix
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My upper arm
26. What do you do when you wake up? Check my phone
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? lighter
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Madeleine, ebi
29. Has any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Hm No haha i dont hve many ex
30. Do you ever want to get married? yes
31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? yes
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? um no
34. Do you play sports? What sports? shopping
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Music
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Hmm not really im not good at covering my feeling (?) hahah
37. What do you say during awkward silences? so
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Kind, loving, mature, loyal, a grown up man.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Local handmade shop
40. What do you want to do after high school? Travel more
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m thinking
43. Do you smile at strangers? ofcourse
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Outer space
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My heart beating so fast everythime i wake up
46. What are you paranoid about? changes
Bye haha
Kalau berkaca dengan hubungan lalu yang udh lama kandas,
ada beberapa hal yang mungkin harus kita sadari, yaitu hal-hal yang memang harus ditinggalkan dan hal-hal yang harus dibawa, coba kita elaborasi yaa hal-hal tersebut.
Hal yang ditinggalkan:
- Belum bisa set boundaries
Hubungan selanjutnya harus bisa set boundaries, mana yang emang buat diri sendiri gak nyaman. Mana yang emang jadi faktor red flag untuk menjalani suatu hubungan.
- Not too attached before there's a clear status
Harus bisa berani untuk clearin status dalam sebuah hubungan, tanpa disadari itu penting bgt. Dan selama belum ada status yang pasti, treat me like it is, a friend. Gak lebih, dont be too clingy.
Hal yang dibawa:
- Belajar jadi pendengar yang baik
dari pengalaman hubungan yang lalu, aku lebih sadar untuk bisa jadi pendengar yang baik. Ketika orang tersebut sedikit aja cerita tentang keluh kesah nya, be there, listen.
Hmm apa lagi ya, mungkin dari reader ada yang mau di tambahin?
2 Maret 2023,
Pagi ini bangun tidur I remember him, kebawa mimpi juga.
Mimpi dia chat dan ngasih tau dia akan nikah.
Sedih bgt bgt, saat di mimpi nerima chat dia. Gue langsung marah marah.
"Bisa bisanya act like nothing happen, terus skrg ngasih invitation wedding. Kamu tuh jahat bgt bgt bgt, selama ini ternyata deket sama cewek tapi gk bilang" dan another marah marah lain nya.
Karena pas tau kalau ternyata dia mau tunangan, I'm the one who act nothing, harus nya aku luapin emosi aja yaa, I process. bukan nya malah shutting down.
Dan you know what suprised me the most.
bahkan di mimpi ku aja di akhir chat aku bilang sama dia "it's okay, we simply dont work out. Maybe in different circumstances we can be together, another universe maybe?" hahah Im smiling sekaligus sambil menitihkan air mata ya writing this.
Ternyata ikhlas tuh sulit banget yaa, padahal udh gk pernah lagi kontak atau ketemu orangnya. But it's funny how distance is not match for the memory.
I wish all the happiness for your wedding, sincerely.
And doakan aku juga cepet ketemu jodoh ku.
Amiin.
