No, Im not okay.

I always deny with what happen inside myself. I think Im okay, Im good, There's nothing wrong with me, the wound already heal.

But I was wrong, it's not, still hurting. Im not okay.

Apathy. pretending to be happy, pretending to be sad, pretending to be having fun, pretending that you've slept well. pretending that you're alive. until there comes a point when you reach an imaginary red line and realize that if you cross it, there will be no turning back. then you stop complaining, because complaining means that you at least still battling something. you accept the vegetative state and try to conceal it from everyone. and that's hard work.

am I feeling depressed? I don't think so,

Dear depression, please keep your distance. dont be nasty. find some other person with more reason than me to look in the mirror and say "what a pointless existence" 

I don't wanna deal with everything right now, 

I dont need temporary people. Either you in or out from my life.